In Class Writing 10/29 Pt.1

What did you learn about others from your experiences? There are other people around me who share similar experiences with anxiety but deal with them differently.

What did you discover about yourself? As I grew up I learned to hide it better and try not to calm myself down so I didn’t breakdown in front of others.

What did you learn about the world and your part in it? I can help others just by talking to them about our experiences with anxiety and tell them different ways they can deal with it if they haven’t found a way yet.

Essay 2 Draft 2

Crying, shaking, and freezing on the spot. I never knew it had a name until I was in high school. Mental illness was never observed in my middle schools. I never knew what to do about it and just let it run its course for a few hours. Meeting a lot of new people at once triggered it, moving school to school, I hated the feeling always when it happened. Driving has also become a trigger for it as well from time to time after my first car accident two years ago. I learned its name and that everyone experienced it differently; anxiety. There are many forms of it and I have two of them although I am not professionally diagnosed with it. It’s affected my personal, professional, and school life throughout the years.

My earliest memories of it was when I switched schools in the middle of my third grade year.  My dad had waited with me in the school office until it was time for class. I started to cry but hid it as I was walked to my class. It wasn’t the first time I had changed schools but it definitely wasn’t my favorite school either as time went on. I remember being fine after that day but every year was the same. The first days of school were always the hardest for me. In elementary school my dad would wait with me for the bell to ring so I could find my class to line up. Every time he left he would give me a hug and a kiss and as he left I would start crying but wipe away my tears so no one noticed. I didn’t know why I did this even though I knew every one in my class (though I didn’t take much of a liking to them), but it never failed to happen every year until high school. My first year of high school it happened on both my first days. You might be thinking, “both her first days? What does that mean?” Well let me explain I never not moved schools for one reason or another I went to 3 different elementary schools, 2 middle schools, and 2 high schools. During my freshman year in high school I had switched schools halfway through the year. My dad didn’t get off with me at this time but he still gave me a hug and a kiss goodbye so he could drop my sister off and head to work. I still managed to cry somewhat but kept my head low to avoid anyone seeing me or interacting with me. He did the same routine when I switched schools but it wasn’t as bad because I knew a lot of people that went there already.

In Class 10/23

P1: Imagine this, 4 gray walls and 2 white doors can sound like a depressing insane asylum, dark and dreary. Until you add a HUGE TV and a new queen size bed to not make you feel so sad about where you live. Slowly but surely building your home adding pops of color within. The stove is black so is the fridge and so is the dish washer with an unlikely set of ugly brown cabinets. But with new dishes with maroon red and black, a purple blanket being used as a temporary comforter for the queen sized bed, and a 2000’s Spiderman blanket being used to cover yourself it doesn’t seem so bad. The only little things that keep you on your toes besides school work is the 3 furry little creatures you adore.

P2: Long hallways and small rooms is all you see with the smell of a feed store. One room you walk past smells of pure $#!+ as if your were at the city sewage cite. Al the walls white and the floors nothing but dark gray and hurting your feet as you walk down the halls to the room you are looking for.

Draft 1 Essay 2

Crying, shaking, freezing on the spot I never knew it had a name until I was in high school. Mental illness was never observed in my middle schools. I never knew what to do about it and just let it run its course for a few hrs. Meeting a lot of new people at once triggered it, moving school to school, I hated the feeling always when it happened. Driving has also become a trigger for it as well from time to time after my first car accident 2yrs ago. I learned it’s name and that everyone experienced it differently. There are many forms of it and I have 2 of them though I am not professionally diagnosed with it. It’s affected my personal, professional, and school like throughout the years.

My earliest memories of it was when I switched schools in the middle of my 3rd grade year.  My dad had waited with me in the school office until it was time for class. I started to cry but hid it as I was walked to my class. It wasn’t the first time I had changed schools but it definitely wasn’t my favorite school either as time went on. I remember being fine after that day but every year was the same. The first days of school were always the hardest for me. In elementary school my dad would wait with me for the bell to ring so I could find my class to line up. Every time he left he would give me a hug and a kiss and as he left I would start crying but wipe away my tears so no one noticed. I didn’t know why I did this I knew every one in my class (though I didn’t take much of a liking to them), but it never failed to happen every year until high school. My first year of high school it happened on both my first days. You might be thinking, “both her first days? What does that mean?” Well let me explain I never not moved schools for one reason or another I went to 3 different elementary schools, 2 middle schools, and 2 high schools. During my freshman year in high school I had switched schools halfway through the year. My dad didn’t get off with me at this time but he still gave me a hug and a kiss goodbye so he could drop my sister off and head to work. I still managed to cry somewhat but kept my head low to avoid anyone seeing me or interacting with me. He did the same routine when I switched schools but it wasn’t as bad because I knew a lot of people that went there already.

In Class 10/16/19

Characterization: Bringing Real People to Life on the Page

  • Name: Erik
  • Height: 6’2-6’3
  • Built: slim but toned and a little pudgy stomach
  • Hair color: Brown and black
  • Eye color: brown
  • A big guy you wouldn’t think twice to try and mess with if you weren’t friends with him. He’s very dorky and quirky guy and likes to be loud so you know when he walks into the room. He loves to live in his sweats and a plain white or black T-shirt unless he has to wear pants. If he’s comfortable around you he will always be loud and can only hold a one topic conversation if it is a serious topic.

In Class Writing 10/15/19

November 7,2017

I remember waking a little after 6:30AM and getting ready for my school externship at the Humane Society when it was still located on Fortlowell. It was a beautiful cloudy and slightly breezy day, at this time I was still living with my parents and it had only been a little over a year since I graduated High School. It was November 7,2017, I hate mornings but I loved going to my externship to see the animals we would get for the day and was excited to play with the ones that were nice enough to let me near after recovery. I was in a hurry getting ready because I had woken up later than usual and my dad was rushing me so neither of us would be late.6

In Class 10/8 Part 2

Audre Lorde’s biography Imitation

I have come to believe I am more able than I was ever lead on to be. I am standing here as a living proof that at some point you have to take charge of your own life and though it may be a struggle you CAN succeed. Less than 4 months ago I chose to leave my parents care and though it has not been easy I have done more than I thought I ever could have.

In Class 10/8/19 Part 1

I have never written an rhetoric analysis before this class. I learned a lot from writing this essay and how we use rhetoric in many ways without realizing it. I know I could’ve done a lot better had I revised a little more. I learned many ways he showed symbolism that I had never realized before. The peer review, teacher review, grammar and editorial classes we had help me better my writing more than it has before. I still have to work on my writing process and hope my writing improves with the next 2 essays.

Essay 1 Final Draft

Ashley Ramirez

Janel Spencer

WRT 101S

3 October 2019

Rhetorical Analysis of “This Is America” by Childish Gambino

“This is America Don’t catch you slippin’ now Don’t catch you slippin’ now Look what I’m whippin’ now This is America (woo).”Rapper, Television Producer, Actor, and Comedian, Donald Glover (a.k.a. Childish Gambino) has caused an uproar of controversy  with his music video, “This Is America,” published on May 5, 2018. From Glover’s dancing to him shooting multiple people in his video he gives many subliminal messages that I believe everyone should pay attention to. In it, he addresses many topics including leadership, the impact of social media, and how much racism is still a huge problem in today’s society. He supports this claim effectively because he is a person of color, references real life occurrences, and uses an emotional tone to capture his audience’s attention.

Gambino is a person of color himself and if not for his fame he would most likely be racially profiled himself. His audience is more for younger, growing generations such as millennials, other people of color, and those with authority. The African-American and Mexican-American communities are seen as minority groups when in actuality they make a majority. People of color are often seen in a negative light since the days of the Mayflower, causing events such as segregation to come into play. Glover emphasizes on this in many parts of his video. He wants older generations to see that changes need to be made and tries to persuade the younger generation such as millennials that are becoming of age to vote to make those changes. Because he is a person of color and can closely relate to others of color, he recognizes that authorities such as the government and police forces have become corrupted and something needs to change.

Glover doesn’t let us forget about real life occurrences that have happened in the past that are still a problem to this day. In the beginning of the video a man is seen walking to a chair to play the guitar that is laying on it. As the video continues to zoom in more on Gambino himself, he dances closer to the man who is cut out during the zoomed in scene. Once Gambino stops behind the man that was once playing the guitar, the man is seen with a sack over his head. If paid close attention to, the man seems to resemble Tracy Martin the father of the late Trayvon Martin. Martin was a 17 year old high school student that was shot and killed by an off duty police officer back in 2012. George Zimmerman had seen Martin walking alone and called the police on suspicion of Martin assuming he had a gun and was in the neighborhood to commit illegal activity. When told to stay put and only to keep an eye on Martin’s movement’s from a distance by dispatchers, Zimmerman took matters into his own hands and started to begin an altercation with Martin leaving Martin no choice but to defend himself. After being shot by Zimmerman, Martin was found dead by police with only a cellphone, a can of Arizona Iced Tea, and a bag of skittles.This was the start of a major movement to expose how racial profiling needed to be acknowledged because it can cost an innocent life, even that of a child. Throughout the video Gambino is seen wearing pants resembling the pants belonging to the uniform of confederate soldiers. Many on the internet have pointed this out and as we know in history the confederate soldiers fought to keep slavery. Although slavery no longer exists today thanks to the Union army, Gambino is claiming that African Americans and people of color are still treated like degenerates today as they were back then. Although people of color have made a come up and have shown they can be more and do more in society since the end of slavery and segregation, Gambino is trying to persuade his audience that they are still seen as lesser being and deserving of less because the “white man” believes they are still superior. To add insult to injury, at the scene of Glover shooting the man resembling Tracy Martin in the back of his head, Glover is seen making an odd stance. At first you would think nothing of it because you might assume it is for humorous reasons, because as many fans know, Glover is a comedian. But when paid close attention to, a viewer of the video recognized his stance as the “Jim Crow” stance. Jim Crow was the name given to describe Africa Americans and given the embodiment of a dark skinned black man with tattered clothing and shoes. This figure was used mainly to humiliate black people to make them seem unfit to be integrated with white society . When used for entertainment, white actors covered themselves in dark paint to resemble a black person and it became known as “Black Face”. Jim Crow then became the name of the segregation laws. As I think to what is going on today, segregation seems to be a fad that is trying to make its way back into society.

“Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, tell somebody You go tell somebody Grandma told me Get your money, black man (get your money) Get your money, black man (get your money) Get your money, black man (get your, black man) Get your money, black man (get your, black man) Black man.” As this line is being sung by a very upbeat church choir in the video the tone gives you a false sense of comfort from the chaos in the previous scenes. But as this “happy” scene comes to an end Gambino is seen shooting down  the choir. This is in reference to the Charleston church shooting that took place on June 17, 2015. Throughout the video you see Gambino lead a group of school children in a number of dances. He even uses popular viral dances and a special african dance called the gwara gwara that became popular with multiple celebrities using it. These scenes also seem to be upbeat and distract you from the events of crime and even death riding a white horse in the background, or as some believe is the biblical representation of the apocalypse. “This a celly (ha) That’s a tool (yeah).” As these lines are being sung the camera goes above Gambinos head showing a group of school kids sitting and standing watching over the chaos, and are recording the events with their phones. This is a representation of how social media has influenced today’s society. It is seen quite often throughout social media that when bad things are taking place many of us rather be behind the camera recording the events rather than doing something to help/ change/ or stop what is going wrong.

“This is America Don’t catch you slippin’ now Don’t catch you slippin’ now Look what I’m whippin’ now.” Even though the song is upbeat and catchy it pales in comparison to the video and when they are linked together and paid close attention to there can be many inferences made. Once you listen to the lyrics and not just the beat you can find the subliminal messages Glover presents to his many viewers.With so much going on around us in the world its clear there are a lot of changes that need to be made. Instead of going forward to make a better history we are going backwards in a more modern time. Technology has become more advanced than the people using it. Soon we’ll end up like the movie Wall-E with technology ruling us and humans not having anymore soft skills.

Works Cited

  1. https://genius.com/Childish-gambino-this-is-america-lyrics
  2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charleston_church_shooting
  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_LIP7qguYw
  4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYOjWnS4cMY

Grammar Guide

  1. Sentence Fragments
    a. An in complete thought
  2. Run-ons
    a. Fused sentences
    i. After the movies, we went to dinner we went to the park to hang out.
    b. Comma splice
    i. After the movies, we went to dinner, we went to the park to hang out.
    c. Using conjunctions
    i. After the movies, we went to dinner (FANBOYS) [and] we went to the park to hang out.
  3. Capitalization
    a. Names: “Katlynne”
    b. Titles: “President Trump”
    c. Places: “Dallas, Texas”
    d. Pet names: “Spot”
    e. Things, Product brands: “Ford trucks”
    f. Proper Adjective: “French language”
  4. Punctuation Rules
    a. Make Meanings Clear
    i. Parenthetical expression (The actors, I believe, are not ready for the show.)
    b. Prepositional Phrase
    i. Give us more information about time, place, and movement: in, before, after at, down, across, inside, out, outside, for, by, on, between, behind, under, around, against, near, through, throughout.
    c. Sentence Structure
    i. Use a comma before a conjunction: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so.
    ii. Subordinate Conjunctions: after, although, as, as soon as, because, before, even though, except, if, since, so that.
    d. Semicolons
    i. Use to separate independent clauses that are brief and closely related. (Before I go home, I have to go to the chiropractor; my back hurts.)
    ii. conjunctive adverbs: Use semicolons when writing compound sentences using a conjunctive adverb or transitional words or phrases
    iii. accordingly, also, besides, consequently, finally, furthermore, hence, however, instead, moreover, nevertheless, otherwise, similarly, still, therefore, thus.
    iv. Before I go home, I have to go to the chiropractor; hence/in other words my back hurts.
  5. Commonly Confused Words
    a. AFFECT-to influence
    i. The speech had a great affect on the crowed.
    b. EFFECT-result
    i. The tsunami’s after effects on the town resulted in a disaster.
    c. ALL READY-prepared
    i. I’m all ready for the long day ahead.
    d. ALREADY-by this time
    i. The party already started an hour ago.
    e. BREATH-air inhaled or exhaled
    i. I could not breath due to being sick.
    f. BREATHE-to inhale or exhale
    i. I took a deep breathe of the fresh air around me.
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